Source:
taylor hernanez on Unsplash
Planning a wedding is an exciting time—but
it’s also sure to bring up lots of emotions for everyone. Whether you are
making decisions with your spouse-to-be, or struggling with family members not
getting along with your future in-laws, you may be wondering how you
successfully address your concerns without ruffling too many feathers.
We break down a few ways you can hope to
communicate effectively to help you sail smoothly to the altar.
1. Look past
the vertigo
Source:
Robert V. Ruggiero on Unsplash
Oftentimes, we may find ourselves in a
conflict over a simple issue. What should have been a calm discussion about a
financial concern or a choice you and your partner need to make, suddenly seems
to spiral into a huge, emotional argument.
This experience is termed by Daniel Shapiro,
author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable, vertigo—where “you get so emotionally consumed in a conflict that
you can’t see beyond it”.
Shapiro recommends
recognising these forces that shape and control the direction of your argument.
Being aware of vertigo is the first step to avoiding conflict when trying to
solve a problem.
2. Don’t Avoid Emotion
Source: Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
When we think about
having difficult conversations, it may appear counterintuitive to pay attention
to our emotions. However, while approaching a situation purely rationally or logically seems like the best option, it is likely not enough.
This is because
emotional issues may need to be solved just as much as rational ones.
Acknowledging emotional rifts, be it you or your partner’s feelings in the
situation may clear the way forward to quickly solve other problems.
3. Have a Plan
Source: Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
Before starting a
difficult conversation, try playing out the scenario in your head.
How do they react?
What should you say or avoid? Why would they think that way?
Of course, real
life rarely plays out like a simulation in your mind, but asking yourself these
questions might help you guide yourself along a conversation. It allows you to
be strategic, while also empathising and trying to understand the other
person’s point of view.
Planning a wedding
may require you to have a few difficult conversations, but the journey is sure
to be worth it!
